Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Out

This... has been a long time coming.  If you follow me on any of my social medias (well, my side account on Twitter, my main one was suspended for saying fundamentally truthful things about TERFs and mean, but also honest, things about the president), then you likely already know this.  But I've been part of this card blogging community since almost before it even really was one, and I know a lot of you aren't on social media much, if at all, and plenty who are don't cross paths with me much, if at all.  So I feel it's important to state it here too.

I am gender fluid.

Further, the more I test the bounds of my femininity, the more obvious it becomes to me that the general lean to my gender is a lot more female than the male you knew me as.

From the time I started privately coming out to a few of my closer internet confidants in the summer to coming fully out into the open at the tail end of the 2018, I've experienced nothing but love and support.  Even as I continue struggling with a long, lingering bout of unrelated depression, for the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely hopeful for the future.  I have something to look forward to and strive for again.  I'm not nearly whole yet, but I have a better understanding of who I am than I ever have before.

Hopefully coming out here can be a pleasant, drama-free experience as well.  Looking back, it's clear to me that I had been feeling my way towards this point long before I began to consciously acknowledge or understand it.  So perhaps, if not this specifically, it's possible a few of you may have even guessed something was up with me when I hadn't even realized it yet myself.  I dunno.

But anyway, I'm still me.  I'm just working toward becoming the truest version of myself.  The blog, such as it is, will remain almost entirely about my cards and my art.  I don't intend to talk at length about this much on here unless it pertains to my creative endeavors or collecting in a pretty direct way.  I have all my social media outlets for that.

I will be happy to answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability, however.

Thank you for your time.  I have every intention of reeling off a decent little stretch of posts again soon.  If I play my cards right, there will be contests with fabulously passable prizes somewhere around my birthday in February.

Until our next...

12 comments:

  1. Who you are is who you are. I hope everyone accepts that and things go well for you.

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    1. Thank you. I feel I've been extremely lucky with how easily everyone has accepted this so far.

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    1. Thank you. It's a different letter & set of issues entirely, but knowing you had an openly gay athlete PC was one of the many random, little things that were extremely helpful to me slowly easing into feeling comfortable with who I was with what seems to be relatively little pain or anxiety.

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  3. It takes an awful lot of courage to do what you've been doing, and for what it's worth, I am very proud of you! I also consider it a great honor to be able to call someone like yourself, my friend :)

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    1. Thank you. It's worth a lot! You have been a better friend to me than I feel like I've ever deserved.

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  4. You are who you are - anyone who can't handle that needs to take a nice long swim with a bag of bricks.

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  5. Love what Tony said. You are who you are. Although sometimes I feel like our country took a few big steps backwards over the past two years, hearing stories like these makes me feel better.

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    1. Thank you. I don't think I'm even remotely special or worthy of praise, but if I can even just be a small light in the darkness, I am incredibly honored.

      Getting to this point was a long, slow process, but that backslide probably forced my hand a little bit. I was already fully aware & privately comfortable in my gender fluidity by the time Trump started talking about legislating trans & non-binary people out of existence, but I don't know that I would have as loudly or openly declared my identity & made it a point to keep track of my progress if it weren't under such direct attack.

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  6. Kudos for your courage. It is gradually moving us in the right direction, and the more people who speak their truth, the better.

    Someday, maybe it will be as mundane to the rest of the world as whether you're left or right handed.

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